Who needs pockets?

We inturrupt this broadcast...

Okay so I really don't have any time to make a decent post right now but I wanted to give you a brief update on the happenings here at the crazy house.

Boston is doing GREAT! The surgery went very well. Thursday (surgery day) was a little rough just getting the anesthesia out of his system but by Friday he was back to normal. Actually, I think he might even have more energy than before if that is even possible. I greatly appreciate all the prayers that were said on his behalf. I know it helped. Stay tuned for the full scoop....uh someday.

The turkey was WONDERFUL! As well as the turkey cranberry wreath. I have already taken the pictures and plan to blog that soon.

The recital is just around the corner. It will be this Saturday and I don't know if I am excited or just excited it will be done. I am praying for a festivus miracle that we will actually be able to pull it off. It is coming together better than it was a couple of weeks ago so, hey, maybe I can actually fake people out for yet one more semester. Dude! That reminds me. I need someone in charge of taking pictures of my own kids, before and during the show. Any volunteers?

You will all be happy to know (actually, I doubt anyone cares but Gary) but there are TWO Christmas trees set up in my home. I don't think the third is going to make it this year. Poor Gary. What a tough life! Oh, and my Christmas shopping is DONE!!!

Okay so, have fun blogging and celebrating and baking and cleaning and doing whatever it is you do at Christmas time.

Now you can go back to your regular blog watching elsewhere where people post a little more often and about things a little more interesting.

Turkey to die for.

Well, that title might be a bit extreme but it is really really good so...whatever.
This is the ONLY way to prepare a turkey if you ask me. In general I have never been a huge fan of turkey but this is like "change your life" good turkey. A little bit of work but so worth it.
First you need to start with a five gallon bucket. Dump all these ingredients in
1 bottle of Cooking Sherry (don't worry, the alcohol will cook out.)
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup Salt (NEVER MORE THAN 1 CUP)
1/4 Cup Vinegar
1/2 cup Tender quick (This is generally by the salt in any supermarket)
Worcestershire (About 14 shakes of the bottle. Don't worry, you won't ruin it.)
Liquid smoke (About 12 shakes of the bottle. Again, just do it. It will be fine)
(Liquid smoke can be found at any supermarket but I'm not sure which isle. Don't let them tell you they don't have it...they do.)

In a small pan combine these ingredients with some water (dude, the amount of water doesn't matter. I don't know, a cup or two?) and boil until herbs are soggy. I like fresh better but dried will work (I have had to do it before). Amounts are not crucial. I'll try to be as close to specific as I can. You have to have the Sage and I recommend the other herbs but for example this year I didn't use Rosemary or Basil (Not sure why). It just doesn't have to be exact.
Sage (1 pkg fresh or a big hand full. MUCH LESS if it is DRIED. Maybe a tablespoon? Not sure)
Bay leaves (4 dried)
Thyme (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Rosemary (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Basil (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Oregano (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Pepper corns (1 tsp) DO NOT USE GROUND PEPPER. IT WILL BE TOO HOT.
( I have even added Marjoram and Savory before. Just add whatever smells good)
Add that soggy mixture to the bucket.
Now here is the really weird part. You need to add the right amount of water to even out the salt content. You don't want it to be too salty. So I add a little water (uh, maybe 8 cups? no idea) and really stir it well starting to dissolve the sugar and salt. Then you put a WHOLE raw egg IN THE SHELL into the bucket. You add water and stir until the egg sinks. You REALLY don't want to break the egg so be careful. Once it sinks you have enough water and it won't be too salty.
REMOVE THE EGG!!!

Now you simply put your THAWED and rinsed bird in the bucket. If the turkey is at all frozen it wont soak up the flavor. You want to make sure the body cavity fills with the mixture and that the bird is covered. If you need to, add more water but be sure to mix it in. And make sure that your bird is not just floating.

Now for the fun part.

Shake, Rattle, and Roll!

Every morning and every night you need to shake that baby up. The salt can settle so really mix it like crazy. For this reason I like the cool screw on lids but another method is to simply bob the turkey up and down and mix it that way. We often flip the turkey after a couple of days.

Oh which brings me to my next point. How long do you do this? This year I started mine soaking on Saturday but I have done it as late as Monday night. Any time would be good but the longer the better. Well, no earlier that Saturday (assuming you are eating this on a Thursday...Turkey day).

KEEP IT COOL!

If you live in a really cold climate you can just keep it in the garage or in a snow drift like we usually do. But if you are having a year like we are there is a little more work involved. It requires putting it in the freezer and pulling it out for hours at a time. You don't want it to freeze solid but it is a 5 gallon bucket so you can leave it overnight in the freezer and it's fine. Or maybe the freezer in the day and the garage or just on the floor (if it is slightly frozen) at night. Whatever works for you. Ya, that is a pain but you really don't want it to go rotten and get food poisoning. I have been doing this for about 9 years and we have never had food poisoning.


This will make the most amazing gravy too of coarse. We always save the bones into two bags to make turkey bone soup...twice. Oh man it is good! Then there is Turkey Cranberry Wreath, and of coarse Turkey sandwiches and that whole bit. Okay so don't be afraid. Just do it. And let me know how it goes. If you can't get it together for the big holiday just make it this winter. Your family will love you for it.

And if they hate it. Keep that comment to yourself!

Okay okay! I give!

Try as I might to get a grip on this silly little thing called life I have decided to give up. Hm, not even sure what that means or how to go about doing that but I am sick to death of bad news. I just found out today that Boston needs to have surgery.

Now, no big worries. It is a fairly common thing and I'm not overly concerned about the surgery (hoping that doesn't somehow mean I'm a crappy mom). I am actually freaking out because we need to do it BEFORE the recital.

Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

This would be the same recital that I am scrambling to pull together because I have NEVER been this unprepared.

It's not just taking the time out for the surgery (which by the way can only be done on a Thursday which is when I teach 3 classes, causing me to re-arrange every one's schedules AGAIN). But he has an ultrasound appointment, a pre-op appointment,and a post-op appointment. Christian has his last follow-up appointment and I have my own Dr. appointment all before this blasted recital.

Oh! What is it for, you say? I hope this is not reflection on yet another one of my great mothering skills. I noticed oh, a couple of YEARS ago that Boston had a funny Adam's Apple. It was really high, like at the very top of his neck under his chin. I KNEW it was his Adam's Apple because it moved down when he swallowed. At other visits I simply kept forgetting to ask the doctor about his silly Adam's Apple.

So this week I took him to the doctor for nose bleeds and at the last minute remembered, "Hey, is there a problem with him having an extremely high Adam's Apple?"

"Uhhhh, well. This down here is his Adam's Apple. That, that you are talking about looks like a cyst. How long has he had it?"

"Ohhhh, only....hm. A couple of ....years?"

Ya, I am an awesome mom. Here I have been feeling every toddlers neck for two years trying to decided if it is normal and never asking the doctor about it. Come to find out, he was born with it. Ya, that means it took me 2 years to even notice it...but in my defense, that is generally the case.

So official diagnosis: It is a Thyroglossal Duct Cyst.

They will use the Sistrunk Procedure to remove the cyst as well as a portion of his Hyoid bone in his neck. For older patients it is a same day surgery but because he is so young they will keep him overnight.

If they don't remove it, this is what can happen. Gross!

So now for the silver lining, Boston is on the same deductible as Christian so we have already met it. And we already know all the nurses so I am hoping it will be a pleasant reunion.

In the mean time I am floundering. It will be a miracle if I can pull this off at all. Of coarse then there is spring. Ya, I need 14 to 16 songs cut, 8 dances at least partially choreographed all by the first week of January. I still haven't set up Christmas (I know what you are all thinking but this is the FIRST year we have not set it up the week after Halloween. Gary is completely depressed over it.) I have Thanksgiving to put on, oh, and Christmas shopping...what a joke. Maybe I'll just steel some hospital gowns and that can be our Christmas pajamas. Ha ha.

Okay, speaking of getting work done I need to go re-do the entire finale so the kids can learn it in one week. Glad I worked so hard on it just to change it all two weeks before.

Okay, ready to tackle life again. Well, not really but what choice do I have. What choice do any of us have? Okay, happy happy happy.

Appendicitis, Grattitude and Things I Could Have Done Without

Where do I begin. Last Thursday....no wait, the week before last Thursday...actually...okay Thursday Oct 23rd my son Christian (12) came down with a low fever. No worries. Kids get bugs.

By the next day he was having a little stomach trouble (aka diarrhea) ( I know he'll love me sharing that information.) Then by Saturday he was throwing up. So we decided he had the stomach flu. Only he was really being lazy. "Mom. Can you reach the remote that is sitting just barely out of my reach?" Of coarse I got it for him like any kind mother would but I'm thinking 'Dude, you are really milking it this time'.

Sunday, more of the same.

Monday - Gary calls from work to ask me how Christians side is feeling. 'Uhhhh what is he talking about? I never received any information on a side hurting'.

Apparently Christians right side had been hurting for 3 days. 3 DAYS!!! Probably should have mentioned that sooner.

So as any great nurse mom knows, to test for appendicitis you push in on the painful spot and then release quickly. The pushing in is not supposed to hurt but the release is supposed to create great pain. After trying this several times it only hurt to push in. Hm?

So I called the nurse. She recommended the same test which I did and got the same results. Only excruciating pain on pushing in. She then had me ask him to jump. This also caused excruciating pain and she recommended we see the doctor just to rule out appendicitis.

While at the doctor he did the same push test with the same results as well as having him jump down off the table which again....PAIN. It didn't quite seem like appendicitis but he scheduled a blood test at the hospital just to be safe.Two hours later the results were borderline. Hm. So we thought, 'Oh, what the heck. Lets do a CT scan just to be on the safe side. After all it's only money and a month before Christmas. At least Murphy's Law will make it so nothing is wrong and we can go home".After a painful insertion of an IV (that refused to go in the left arm and had to be put in the right) and some pumping in of some stuff that makes his organs light up they took the scan.

Sure enough, appendicitis. (I guess that would mean all the times we kept pushing on his side and making him jump up and down really were causing pain. Sorry Christian.)

After speaking with the doctor we found out he would only be in the hospital that night and would be back to normal life in no time.

How grateful I am to live where we do. We asked the nurse if she knew if there was a priesthood holder who could assist in a blessing. Of coarse the male nurse standing right in the room was worthy and happy to assist.

When the surgery was finished however we learned that the appendix had ruptured. He would have a drain coming out of his abdomen to release all the infection (Sorry no picture. It's about an inch above an area that a 12 year old by is not about to let his mother post on the internet) and his hospital stay would be extended to 5 days. 5 DAYS! ARE YOU KIDDING? Okay so the panic button went off a little.

The doc also gave us some awesome pictures. They are a little graphic so skip ahead if you are like Susan and they make you light headed.

The top left is his appendix and the puss and infection. Top right is the doctor snipping the appendix.
The bottom left is when they dissect the appendix. And the bottom right is where they put it in a little sac to suck out the tiny hole.

Here is a picture of Christian after surgery. He looks so small doesn't he. It's weird how I thought he looked huge in his football uniform and now he looked like some scruffy little kid. He was so pleasant the entire time. Really, through all the needle pokes, side pokes, jumping up and down he just kept a smile on his face and did what he was asked.
When he was first waking up we had to break his heart every five minutes because he kept asking the same question.

When can I go home?

I'm sorry honey, not for about 5 days.
5 DAYS! WHAT? WHY?

Well, your appendix was squirting infection into your body and they need to keep you here longer than they first thought.

Oh.

(3 minutes later)

When can I go home?

And his heart was shattered again.

Tuesday - No food or drink. Not the best day. He had a nurse who looked about 95 years old. She had no idea how to run the new IV machines. She would say things like, "Lets try this... beep beep beep beeeeeeeeep! Hm....nope. Well, maybe this...beep beep beep. Ah, that seemed to work". I'm thinking, 'Are you kidding me? You are guessing? Sheesh! How many years since you even went to nursing school anyway?' Still, nothing went to disastrously wrong so I guess she did okay.

Wednesday - Clear fluids only. Broth, herbal tea, jello. But a very good day and pretty good night too. Plus we had the best nurse. Her name was Sunshine. What a perfect name for her profession. Why do I keep running in to people with such perfect names? (Remember Officer Slaymaker?) Anyway, She was so kind and truly just a ray of sunshine in the middle of the night.
Thursday (Dooms day) - This was the day they changed his pain meds and he was allergic to them and broke out in hives. Then they also decided to switch to oral antibiotics which made him throw up all his food and have awful diarrhea. It also caused his drain to go bizerk, needing emptied about every two hours. His fever spiked again and his pain (which was down to a 3) was now at a 9!

We had a good home teacher come and give Christian another priesthood blessing that eased many of our concerns. They switched his pain killer and his antibiotics and he improved rapidly after that. But with such a bad night and his drain going so crazy the doctor ordered that Christian stay one more day. Blast! That means he had to stay in the hospital for Halloween.

Throughout the week there were many friends and family that came to visit Christian. We were both very grateful for the visitors. His teacher even came and brought a huge gift box that the kids pulled together.

Here is a picture of him on Halloween. He was feeling much better. We stayed up late watching scary movies and eating yogurt. Yum yum. Oh and he did eat one Reece's Pieces and three whole Skittles.Unfortunately his dad didn't have such a good Halloween. Thursday he came down with a horrible case of Strep Throat. This is after the 103 fever hit but before his throat swelled up to look like a bullfrog.
The next morning Christian was able to go home and has been doing well ever since. This is him with another one of our favorite nurses, Holli.

Through this entire experience I just kept thinking how grateful I am for such qualified doctors, surgeons and nurses who could care for Christian. Also gratitude for wonderful antibiotics, painkillers and anti-nausea medications that have been discovered. Even gratitude for that awesome nightlight built in at the hospital and the hospital bed that raised and lowered and let him sleep in a curved and comfortable position. Technology is a miracle! Now hospital food on the other hand made me grateful that I can go home and cook a nice hot meal.

My favorite dishless recipe

Okay here it is. The delicious dishless recipe you have all been waiting for.




Are you ready?





Are you sure?





Make sure now.





I wouldn't want it to sneak up on you.




Okay, here it is...





Delicious Salisbury Steak, almost fresh corn and nearly real mashed potato's.

Okay here are the directions:

Step 1 - Pre heat your oven to 350 degrees. (For an even quicker version this recipe can be done in the microwave but I think it is much better in the oven. I mean you COULD cook a turkey in the microwave but who would want to eat it that way?)

Step 2 - Take the meal out of the box.

Step 3 (and this is an important one) - Uncover ONLY the mashed potatoes, being careful not to uncover anything else. (I like to cut away the excess plastic so it doesn't some how accidentally lay back down on the potatoes)

Step 4 - Place the meals on a cookie sheet. (Don't worry, it won't get dirty so you won't have to wash it.
(Now I know what you are thinking, "Ew! That looks disgusting. Just wait. It will look amazing soon.)


Step 5 - Once the oven is pre-heated put the meals in the oven and set the timer between 25 to 28 minutes. I always choose 26 minutes and it is perfect but if you are at a different altitude the time may vary slightly.

Now there is a little waiting. What a great time to spend reading with the kids or planning your next family service project.

Okay so 26 (or so depending on your particular oven settings, altitude and air humidity) minutes later the timer will go off. Walla!
(Dude, it looks good right?)

Step 6 - Take the meals out (with a hot pad) and remove the rest of the plastic wrap. (Be especially careful not to burn yourself with escaping steam. It takes a bit of skill but I'm sure the more you make these you will get the hang of it.)

Step 7 - Serve!

(Okay well there is sort of a step 6 1/2. The box recommends that you let the meal sit for 2 minutes but I figure by the time kids wash up and you say the prayer, it's been at least two minutes.)

Ahhhh. Look at the happy faces.

And the best part is the clean up! Just one fork per meal to wash. (No pots, no pans, no bowls or plates. Just a clean kitchen.)

Oh! Oh! And another major bonus... it only cost one dollar per person. Yes, to feed all four of my kids cost $4. That isn't even on sale. That is full price. You find these babies on sale and you could really be saving a bundle.

They also come in a wide variety of entrees and side dishes, fried chicken, roast beef, turkey and gravy, chicken fried steak, really the list goes on and on.

So the next time you have three dance classes in one day followed by three parent teacher conferences (or whatever it is you do) be sure to make this fast and delicious DISHLESS meal!

Pots and Pans

Okay, so this was my kitchen Monday morning. No actually, this was my kitchen Monday morning AFTER I loaded the dishwasher. Notice the heaps of pots and pans that never fit in the dishwasher and I hate doing hand dishes.


See, Sunday I put some chicken in the crock pot on the right. I set it on high, put the lid on and went to church. Then I came home to realize that I never plugged the dang thing in. So after cooking it for a while in the crock pot (to make sure it was good and dirty. You know, really stuck on), I then decided it wasn't going to cook it fast enough so I put it in the big pot which is pictured here in the right sink.

After cooking the chicken I made the gravy in the big sauce pan in the left hand sink and added the chicken to that.

Then I started the rice in the rice cooker...which then died, mid-cooking. So I had to transfer the rice from that pot to a regular pot to finish cooking it.

The big silver bowl on the left is from making Muddy Buddies, a family favorite.

So here it is Tuesday and yes the pots are clean and put away. Yup I broke down and washed them by hand. But the sink is still full of dirty dishes. I am a load behind and I refuse to do two loads in a day. I have a fabulous meal planned Thursday however that doesn't hardly dirty any dishes, so I will be caught up by Friday. Hooray!

Pathetic.

Stay tuned for my delicious and dishless recipe I plan to make on Thursday!

Christians Football

I had planned at the beginning of the football season to organize a post about Christian and his amazing football team. The first game was a bit of a shocker to say the least. We showed up on the field to find the other team in shiny amazing costumes (Gary hates that I call them costumes), with several coaches taping ankles. They were like a pro football team. They even had cheerleaders! What the heck? (The cheerleaders did however struggle a little with some of their cheers referring to taking the ball down the court. Let's hope they figure it out before high school.)

Anyway, I quickly lost my excitement for the game when he spent about 3 minutes total on the field his first game. After speaking with his coach he did play more in subsequent games but his team struggled to say the least. I think it was about game 6 they made their first touchdown of the season. They would only make one more, but that one touchdown would win them their one and only victory.

Still he looks so grown up in all those pads.

There were actually TWO # 41's, but a mother knows her son... he is the one with the chicken legs.

Okay, here I am being an extremely devoted mother and watching the final game in the pouring rain. (I won't mention that I bailed about half way through to go to my friends and drink hot cocoa.) That umbrella has seen better days, and notice the phone stuck to me ear. Ya, that is me most of the time.

GO BENGALS!

Traffic School

A couple of weeks ago I was driving along minding my own business when this cop has the nerve to pull me over and give me a ticket. Okay, so I was speeding a little....barely....well, 42 in a 25. But it also happened to be in front of an elementary school so the officer thought it was important that I learn my lesson and give me a ticket. My saddest and biggest regret of the day was realizing about 5 minutes too late that I didn't get his picture for my blog. Oh man! A picture of us together... by the speed limit sign... him handing me my ticket... It could have been so great! But no, I had to be a lame brain and forget to snap a shot.

Luckily, here you have the option of going to traffic school. It cost about the same as a ticket but it doesn't go on your record and thus your car insurance can remain cheap. Well, cheaper than it would be with a ticket on your record.

So, Wednesday evening I had the amazing opportunity to go to traffic school. It was actually pretty fun, considering the alternatives I have for spending my time in the evenings. I agonized over the choices before me. Traffic school or refereeing my children's WWF smackdown contests? Traffic school or ironing Gary's umpteen-million shirts? Traffic school or doing the dishes from our Seven Course French Gourmet supper? Traffic school or having a ticket on my record and paying out the nose for insurance. Hmmmm... that's a tough one. I choose...

TRAFFIC SCHOOL!


I learned a lot of cool facts and met some very interesting people. Meet Sergeant Slaymaker. Dude, that seriously is his name! Perfect career choice hu?

This is the officer who taught the class. Bless his heart, this was a tough crowd. It was funny to see people arguing with him. And argue they did.

The biggest argument of the night seemed to be on the topic of traffic warnings. A majority of these people actually believed that traffic tickets should never be given, only a warning, to remind us to be safer drivers. What a novel idea! I think we should integrate this ideology into all our law enforcement:

"Mr. Anderson! Here you have killed yet another one of your wives. I'm going to let you off with a warning this time but I really don't want to see this kind of thing happen again".

One lady with huge hair and tight Wrangler jeans was very upset for getting caught in a pedestrian cross walk sting operation the police department set up on main street.

"I never seen no person crossing the street. I mean there was no person in sight! My mother is the worst backseat driver I know and she never seen no person. They say I was at fault but I never seen no person. They wouldn't even tell me where the person was because I never seen nobody!" (This is the shortened version. Just repeat it about 5 times and you get her side of the argument.)

Okay lady we got it. I think you should have a ticket on your grammar alone.

Then another guy who was missing most of his front teeth suddenly blurted out, "All I know is I was so grateful to the kind officer who gave me my ticket for only writin' me up for goin' 80 in a 60. I was actually goin' over 90 miles an hour. I was just racin' along and saw the cop on the side of the road. I just waved and pulled right over. That cop never even had to turn his lights on, I knew I was caught."

I'm thinking,"Dude! You're kidding right? Get tickets much?"

This same guy also volunteered the information that he has two DUI's and doesn't have to pay the extra insurance that officer Slaymaker says the state requires if you get a DUI. "Although, I do have to take a breathalyzer to even get my car to turn on." Man, he was a riot.

The presentation also included some graphic car wrecks from this area which were really cool. Cars torn in half and bursting into flames. Some of the slides were almost obscene and the stories certainly were graphic.

There was one lady who kept begging Sergeant Slaymaker to stop telling the stories because they were making her sick, but he just kept going. He said, "Hey! You think it makes you sick now? Wait till it's you lying on the road. Wait till this happens to you for real". She just kept putting her head down on the desk and moaning. "Ohhhhh, ohhhhh. I think I'm going to be sick. Ohhhh I feel like I'm going to pass out!" Dude. I just found the entire thing amusing. Surely I must be warped.

But here is my favorite slide. Yes, I took a picture just for you.

It's small but do you see it? GAS WAS $1.49 A GALLON!!! Ah, those were the days.

So if you ever get a ticket, first, don't forget to snap a picture of the officer and then I highly recommend attending traffic school. Sure, it's not for the faint of heart or weak stomach, but if you can handle it, it could really make your night! If nothing else at least it will boost your self esteem when you compare yourself to all the other losers there.

German Pancakes (AKA Dutch Babies)

This is such a simple recipe and looks really cool. When I was younger my aunt would make these in a 9x13 pan and the bottom would be a sort of egg custartd. I only liked to eat the fluffy curls so I found this recipe that is all golden curls of buttery pancake without the jello-ey egg stuff. Just look at the amazing picture. Oh yum!


First pre-heat your oven to 450 degrees.

Put 4 Tablespoons butter in 2 pie plates (2 Tbsp in each) and put them in the oven as it is preheating. (Once I left them a little too long and when I put the batter in the dish, it shattered so don't leave it too long)

6 eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt

Beat until fluffy and smooth with an electric mixer.

Pour half in one pie plate and half in the other. (I usually 1 and 1/2 the recipe to make 3 plates for my family.

Bake for 20 minutes.

Serve with warm syrup, jam, or fruit.



Notice only one of mine is a pie plate. One was a 8x8 square pan (on the left, notice the square curls) and the other is a deep dish pie plate.

Frequently Asked Questions

Most of you know that we have been having some reproductive challenges, and I get a lot of questions from well meaning friends inquiring after my abilities to procreate. Because I am soooo very popular and have tons of friends, this translates into being asked at least one of these questions on average every other day.

To be really honest, while I appreciate that people care about me and want to help, it gets old. This isn't exactly my most favorite subject. There are so many other things that I would love to talk about besides the inadequacy of my most private body parts, such as dance, politics, music, religion, favorite TV shows, books, and movies, gardening, the weather... you name it and I'll talk about it!

So, I thought it might save time for all of us if I just addressed all the questions in one place. This way when you see me, you can talk to me about something else besides the state of my uterus.


Basic Blunt Nosey Questions:


1. Are you pregnant yet?

Yes! I just found out today, and I'm telling you because we're such close friends! Please keep it to yourself though, because I don't want anyone else to know yet.


2. Really?

No. I was just yanking your chain.

3. Is there a reason you're wearing a baggy shirt today?

Ya! Because baby doll shirts are in style now. Because it's hot and I need a little breeze. Because I am tired of wearing the same 5 fitted shirts I own just so people will stop asking this question!

4. Are you still trying?

Trying what?


5. Are you still trying to get pregnant?


Yup. Next?


6. Are you able to get pregnant?


What, you think I found my other four kids under a rock?

Simple Solutions


7. You know you can go to a doctor for that?

Really? Thanks -- I never thought of that!


8. I have a great doctor you should go see.

You and everyone else. Take a number, I can only afford so many co-payments per month!


9. You do know how it's done, don't you? :nervous laughter:

Well, I thought so... but maybe we've been going about it all wrong. How about you walk us through it?

10. You know that you shouldn't do it everyday, don't you?

Oh. Gary will be so disappointed. Do you want to be the one to break it to him?


11. Has Gary been tested?

Booyah! Rest assured that Gary is, as they say, A STUD.


12. Have you checked your hormones/thyroid/liver function/gall bladder/big toe?

Yes. All that and more.

13. Have you asked your doctor if you need to gain weight?

Yes. I hate this question. My doctor has confirmed that I am at a normal, healthy weight.

14. Is it because you exercise too much?

Would you believe my doctor actually wants me to pick up another form of exercise on the days I am not teaching dance? This is true. He seems to think exercise is good for you. I teach children, it's not like I am running marathons. (While people I know actually do run marathons and get pregnant. Go figure.)


15. Is it because you're too stressed out?

This is a possibility I have seriously considered. I am working on reducing my stress levels. Since it stresses me out when people ask me if I'm pregnant every other day, you could all help out with that particular stressor.


16. I've heard that the more you think about it the more your body fights it. Maybe you should just stop trying and it will happen.


Stop trying? Well that's no fun for anybody.

17. Are you taking vitamins? Do you eat a healthy diet?

Yes and yes. My doctor suggested I might want to cut back on the alcohol and cocaine, but I think he's overreacting. You know how those medical types are.

18. Have you tried herbs/aspirin/getting drunk/drug trials/the latest greatest thing?

This is me just staring at you. Not in a mean way, like an evil glare or anything just...passing on that particular question.

19. Do you eat a lot of chocolate? (rumor has is caffeine in chocolate can be bad for pregnancy.)

Can you believe I don't really even like chocolate. Oh wait! Do tootsie rolls count?

20. Do you know that you should stack pillows and have your hips higher than your head after doing it?

Absolutely! Every night (or rather every other night--refer to question #13) after doing the deed, I stand on my head for 30 minutes. Is that enough information?

Again, I realize that my friends and family mean well and want to help. Individually I appreciate every inquiry into my well being but as a whole, I am sick to death of talking about it. I tried to have fun with this, and I hope no one is offended by my weird sense of humor. If I can't laugh about it I'll cry, and I'm sick to death of doing that too.

Any more question? Please feel free to leave them in the comment section below and I will be sure to answer them in a timely manner. Right after I finish standing on my head, of course.

Wonder Woman is laid to rest.

Okay, I've had a couple of friends express concern that I have not posted in a while. I used to post several times a week and now....not so much.

Well here is the reason.

I am a person that runs off anxiety. I can't sleep, I can't sit still, my mind and body race both day and night. This is a very productive way to live, because I get by on as little as 3 hours of sleep and still feel great the next day. During the time that most people waste on sleep, I am cleaning, blogging, reading, paying bills, working on dances, and doing anything else that needs doing. (And no. I am not one of those MethMoms. !)


The down side to all this anxiety and useful productivity is that I tend be overly emotional and highly irritable. I become more demanding and want to bite everyone's head off. Hm. Imagine that.


This summer my anxiety seemed to be at its worst. I was very productive, but I was also very stressed out. I know this isn't a healthy way to live, and it's not something I chose, my body just chose it for me. So, during the summer I started working on my thought distortions. I realized I even had thought distortions. I took the Burns Depression Test and was shocked to learn that I was apparently extremely depressed. I also took the Burns Anxiety Test and found my anxiety level to be through the roof. That one was not as big a shocker, but I was somewhat alarmed at how very high I scored. Anyway, so I have been working on my thought distortions since then. This has been helping me sleep a little better at night and my anxiety started improving too.

Then recently, a favorite neighbor recommended that I take Melatonin to help with sleep. This idea of a natural remedy was enticing, because I don't like the way sleeping pills make me feel. I asked my doctor and he thought the Melatonin might actually help with the anxiety too. It seems to be working okay other than, now I am like normal people.


Agh!


So I am not racing a million miles an hour all day. I no longer have an extra 4 or 5 hours a night to be super productive and efficient. If I have a night where I don't sleep good, I pay for it the next day.


I am struggling to keep up with the cleaning, cooking, and laundry. Then of coarse there is the 8 dance classes I teach each week, the costumes I have to plan, the dances I have to choreograph, the recital I have to pull off. Don't forget the children one on one time, hubby time, and what ever happened to personal time? Oh! And I started a garden this year for the first time...although it really isn't too much work. Still, I am just having a hard time keeping up suddenly. I have to live like normal people and I am used to living like Wonder Woman.


So in the adjustment, a few things had to take a back seat. My kids still want dinner (imagine that) , people keep wearing clothes that need washing and my dance students keep showing up at my house so blogging got the boot.

I really love blogging. I want to blog. I think of blog posts often, but I just don't have the time to pull it all together and get it done. Dance sort of runs me over this time of year. This is when I have to get all the costumes done for the whole year. I have to finish up the dances I haven't finished choreographing yet. I already need to start cutting music for spring and choreographing those dances. Teaching dance is something I love but admittedly, it is extremely stressful.

Okay, so in all, my message is this. I am good! I am fine! I am adjusting to just feeling like everyone else and still wondering if this is how everyone else feels. Maybe the Melatonin is not quite right. I don't know. I'm still figuring it all out. Don't show up to help clean my house or make me dinner. I have it under control, I just don't have time for blogging. In fact I am working on a really funny post that will be out as soon as I have a second to make it really great.

Okay so my kids are having a nervous break down that I am on the computer. Blog away. I still check in to read your blogs now and again. I love your blogs. Keep posting...for me.

Dagnabbit and a show tune singing pilot.

Okay, I am sure you are sick of these tags, but I work on them when I can't sleep and I just think they are fun. And I admit it, Debbie, I stole some of your answers because they just hit the nail on the head for me.

What is your favorite word?
That's easy. It's "Dude". I also really like "barcalounger". Those are of coarse words you have heard me speak of before. I am trying to widen my vocabulary. Apparently I have made friends with a walking dictionary and I need some clue as to what my friend is talking about half the time. Her vocabulary is huge, thus the "Word of the Day" on my sidebar. I also like the word "loquacious" but my newest love is the word "recalcitrant".

What is your least favorite word?
I HATE the word "Potadda chip". Kennedy is obsessed with it right now and it's driving me crazy! Yes, I know how to spell it, but that is how she says it...anoyingly. There are days I hate the word "Mom" and I tell my kids it's a swear word so they won't say it over and over. "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, MOM!!!" Oh! Okay, my LEAST favorite word is when people say "expecially" it should be "especially". Dude, I hate that. I also hate it when people say,"I could care less". No people! It's," I couldn't care less","COULDN'T"! If you could care less that means you still care somewhat. "I couldn't care less" means this is the least I could care.

What turns you on (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?
Well first of all "turns me on?" you say. But then you ask, creatively, spiritually, or emotionally? Okay, Gary's butt in jeans turns me on. A really great song makes me feel creative. The book of Alma motivates me spiritually. Emotionally...? Ah! Girls night out!

What turns you off (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?
Thinking about money. Or rather the lack there of.

What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of crunching leaves under my feet. The sound of walking in high heels (weird, I know). My babies cry. Oh oh, thunder...I love thunder!

"What sound or noise do you hate?

People screaming at their kids. Me screaming at my kids. Me screaming at your kids.

What’s your favorite curse word?
"Dagnabbit!" or "Dude!" That's as cursey as it gets around here. Okay, not entirely true. I use "Crap!" too much. I don't ever swear and I don't really like it when people swear but for some reason it is really funny when written in a book. Also there are some people who swear and it is soooo funny. I won't put their names here, but you know who you are.

"What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I would like to be an airplane pilot and sing songs over the airplane intercom. Dude, that would be so fun! Can you imagine the reaction of the passengers? "Hello ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. On our way to the great state of New York, home of Broadway, I would like to sing you a show tune on our way. Ahem...Start spreading the news..." etc.

What profession would you not like to do?

Give pedicures. Blah! Feet are disgusting.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Honey, you're home.

Again, I am suppose to tag people. If you read this and you want to do it, consider yourself tagged! Let me know if you do because I'd love to read your answers.

Crazy Hair Day!

Today was crazy hair day at school. We are sort of a crazy bunch anyway so this the one day of the year my kids get to do with their hair what I will never let them on a regular day. Ah yes. Pink with a bunch of glitter. Just what you hope your 12 year old boy will choose to do with his hair.
The toilet paper roll is an added preparedness measure in case she happens to get stranded in the woods and needs something softer than a leaf.
Don't ask me what this mess is. We just kept making twisties, added a curly fountain out the top and of coarse glitter.
Boston had to join in too with his blue spikes. The sad thing is, his hair is like this a lot of the time anyway.

Clam Chowder

What do you know, another fall soup. We eat a lot of soup around here because first of all it is GOOOOOOD, and second, it is easy to make a ton, freeze half and dinner is made on a dance night. The only thing bad about this recipe is that if you like to order clam chowder at a restaurant you won't be able to anymore because you will realized NOTHING is as good as what you can make.

first you combine

1 cup chopped Celery (I never measure this and I know I just do more of

everything but for those whiners who want an exact measurement, this is what the recipe calls for...happy?)

1 cup chopped onion (I just use a whole onion. Are you really going to throw away the extra?)

2 cups diced potato

Boil this in the juice from the clams (not the clams themselves) and enough chicken broth to just cover the top, until tender crisp (or as tender as you want them but no one likes soggy veggies.) I also like to add a little salt here to season the veggies but realize you will not drain this water off so don't over salt it.

Oh ya, the clams. Okay, so the recipe calls for two cans of 6 1/2 ounce minced clams but my strange children have become clam LOVERS and fight over who gets the biggest clam so I have gone to three cans of chopped clams. They are a little bigger chunks. If you are not a clam fan, go with the minced. I use Snow brand (yellow can).

When that is ready in a separate pan melt 3/4 cup butter and add 3/4 cup flour to make a paste. Just cook it nice and bubbly for a few minutes. Here is a picture of this step. (This is for you Katie, even though you don't comment, I know you check in once in a while. I know how you love the cooking pictures.)

So now add 1 quart of half and half cream (a little at a time) till thick. Then add it with the veggies and put the clams in.

Here I add 1 teaspoon Dill, 1 teaspoon Basil, 1 teaspoon sugar, and Granulated Garlic to taste (maybe 1 tsp also). Oh dude! It is so good!

Add Salt and Pepper to taste.

Gratitude tag

No one tagged me, I was just having a "Woe is me day" and read this on someone's blog and thought it might cheer me up to do it.

1. If every job paid $50,000 a year, and you had no physical or mental limitations, what would you do?
I greatly enjoy being able to stay home to raise my four kids and even though it is a huge stress I think I would still teach dance. I actually think I would love it more not having to charge. I am always worried if people feel they are getting their money's worth. I would love the job I have with out so much pressure to be amazing all the time.

2. What is your current church calling? What do you like about it? What have some of your other callings been?
I have a really amazing church calling. I sit with the CTR 6 class during sharing time. Yup, that's it. Oh, and I am a visiting teacher. I keep thinking they are going to give me another calling but I think the Bishop thinks of me as a high stress person and doesn't want to contribute to the madness. Okay, that is mind reading and honestly I don't mind not having a bigger calling. I have been a young woman's teacher, relief society teacher, Sunday school teacher, nothing too big.

3. Name a person you regularly encounter (outside your family) who brightens your day.
Easy. Lisa. If you have read her blog you have at least seen a glimpse of her humor. She is just amazing and tells me I am amazing which is nice to hear once in a while. She has good days and bad days and gives me great insight and tells it to me straight. No sugar coating, that's for sure. She definitely brightens my day.

4. In twenty years, what do you think you will miss most about your life now?*
I know I will miss having kids all around but I will be in the grand kid stage of life and I am totally looking forward to that. You get to spoil them and send them home when they are rotten. I am guessing I will not still be teaching dance so I will miss that. Who knows, maybe my hips will hold out and I will be out-dancing the best of them. Go granny go!


5. What’s something you appreciate about your spouse?
He is just a big sweet teddy bear. I grew up collecting teddy bears so it is no wonder I married him. He is such a homebody. He just loves to cuddle and I love that too.

6. What is your favorite routine, household chore?
I like a clean kitchen, and I love to scrub the floors but lately my favorite household chores are folding laundry and ironing. I have learned to talk on the phone quite a bit and I love these chores because they don't make any noise and they don't make me breath hard so I can talk easier.

7. What’s a book you return to occasionally (besides the scriptures.)
Okay, I admit it. I love any of the Twilight books. I have read the first three twice. Lately I am on the phone too much to read but I wouldn't mind reading those again. I also loved Enchantment by Orson Scott Card. I plan to read that one again...someday.

8.Favorite Small Pleasure:
I love my MP3 player. Especially when no one is home and I can sing with it or dance to it all by myself. Oh dude, I am sounding odder all the time. Now you are all finding out what I really do with my day, talk on the phone and dance around like some 13 year old girl.


9. Favorite time of the day?
This is mean to say but it is as soon as the kids are off to school. I have the whole day to either get a project done or spend some time on myself. By 2 pm I am depressed again at all that I DIDN'T accomplish. But at 9 am I feel like I have all the time in the world and I can tackle anything.

10. Name a person who performed what they thought was a small act of service, but ended up being a big deal to you:
This is going to sound terribly pathetic but I am getting used to most of my life sounding that way. When Gary and I were first married we were dirt poor and there were times I didn't know what we were going to do for food and I would come home to sacks full of groceries on my doorstep. I know it was Kelly Jane, and I know to her it was probably a small amount but it made a world of difference to us. She saved our bacon many times. In fact I have learned not to let her know of our financial struggles because she would probably want to jump in and save the day once again. She has saved me in many ways and I am grateful for her friendship.

11. Name someone who somehow changed your life.
That would have to be my sweet hubby Gary. He saw me in a way no one ever had before. He made me feel like I was worth something and still makes me feel that way. He makes me want to work harder and be better.

12. Consider what you do each day. Think of one attribute or trait that you bring to your daily work that is a strength—what is something you do really well?
I like to laugh and I can laugh at myself. When you are living with me, that is a huge strength.

It is hard to say who I would tag. I know you all read this even though you rarely leave comments. I would hope everyone reading this would consider them self tagged. I learned a lot of good things about my life doing this, and yes, I have much to be grateful for.

Leek Soup

Okay folks! Fall is here and it's time for another good fall recipe. Now this soup has a really cool name, french I think, but I don't know what it is. The challenge will be to get Kelly Jane to make a comment on my blog and tell us the name since I actually got the recipe from her years ago. I have tweaked it a little, but not much.

First you have to clean the leeks. Leeks are those GIANT looking green onions. I should have taken a picture before I chopped it, but I forgot. Sorry. Anyway, you cut the root end off and cut it lengthwise almost in half (or you even could actually cut it in half) then rinse thoroughly between the layers to get all the dirt and sand out of them. No one wants to eat a grain of sand so clean them good.

Then you chop up one onion and two leeks (I have done as many as 4 leeks, it doesn't have to be exact). Throw them in a huge pot with a cube of butter and saute' them. Yum! Don't get them brown, just sort of translucent. Okay, I guess I can see a little brown, but not much.

Then chop up Carrots and Potatoes and throw them in the pot too. I think it calls for 1 cup of each but I know I do way more than that. Here is my carrots and potatoes.

Ohhh, don't those carrots look delicious? They are from my garden. My FIRST garden ever.

You now cover all the veggies with water. Just enough chicken broth to cover them. I think I actually had a little too much this time.

I add a couple huge scoops of chicken soup base to water to make broth. This is where I stray from Kelly Jane a bit. I also add a little granulated garlic and some salt. This just gives it a little stronger flavor.

Cook until the veggies are soft. Now in a normal soup you would want the veggies sort of tender crisp but you are going to blend it and you don't want chunks of undercooked veggies. Boston helped me check to see if the carrots were soft. Make sure to blow it off before you bite into that HOT carrot.

Now for the fun part. It all goes into the blender. Okay not all at once, just a blender full at a time, and make sure that there is equal amounts of water and veggies in each batch so one is not too thick and wont blend. After blending one batch, transfer it to a HUGE bowl. When all of it is blended, make sure there are no chunks in the pot and return the blended soup to the pot. (Hint, rinse out the big bowl now. For some reason this soup turns into cement once dry) (Take note of the clean background)
Now I had not made this recipe since I got my new psycho blender. And this is what happened to my kitchen. It also was scalding hot. Thank goodness Boston had backed away. So, maybe you should start with a smaller amount first until you know what your blender is going to do. My old one would have had no problem but this one is...well, psycho. And yes, I did use the lid, but it doesn't fit well and my blender just pushed it off.

Okay, now you add a cup of heavy cream. I never measure this, and I think I might add a little more than that. It doesn't have to be exact. Also, add salt and pepper as needed. I also like to add a spoon full of sugar.

This is a favorite Halloween recipe for our family. We have it every Halloween in bread bowls that look like pumpkins. It will look more orange in real life. It is also delicious served with this bread.