Bittersweet

Last Saturday I had the opportunity of stopping by the Festival of Trees in Salt Lake and seeing some of my former dancers perform. I will hold my comments on most of the show, being that I am just highly critical when it comes to dance. The last dance number however was a group that consisted of ALL my former dancers. (Not all my dancers but all the dancers in the class were my former students.) As soon as they began, there were whoops and hollers from the audience. They were upbeat, exciting and TALENTED! They were clogging! They were doing difficult steps, and using so much energy, they really put on a good show. I was almost filled with tears just watching them. At then end of their dance everyone was cheering! They were clearly the best of the night.

I was happy to be able to talk to a few of them and also glad I got to talk to their current teacher, Gregg Crockett. He is doing an amazing job with them. I am so thrilled to know that they found a teacher that they can continue with and who is skilled enough to take them as far as they want to go. I am excited to know that they are going to be competing too!

So that is the sweet part.

However

On the way home, I will admit, I could not fight back the tears. I miss those kids soooooo bad!!! While I am so relieved to know that I did in fact teach them something that impacted their lives, I can't help but realize that I am now completely out of the loop. While I can see so many blessings this move has brought to my life, I still can't help but miss so many things about the old life. I am no longer Miss Amidey. I don't have little girls running up to me at church and hugging my legs. I no longer create magnificent recitals that although are a HUGE pain, there is a huge sense of accomplishment that comes when it is done. I have 13 amazing recitals on DVD that sit on a shelf. And no, I don't really want to start again, at least not at this point.

It brings me so very much joy to see these kids moving forward. They took something that I gave them and they are making it even greater. What I did meant something to them. I think that is the biggest compliment anyone could pay me.

So for my former students, they are moving forward in a direction I started them in. And for me? I am moving forward too. I'm not exactly sure where this path is leading me, the Lord hasn't revealed that yet. Maybe I can help in a way unexpected or maybe there is someone who will help me learn something new. Surely life will bring a bit of both.

I guess in life we need all flavors. And although I miss it, the memories I have with those kids are sweet. The hope for their future is very sweet. And hopefully there are some more sweets in store for my future as well.

Oh yes! Turkey time!!!

Remeber this?! Its time again for that AMAZING TURKEY! So go get your buckets and your big bird and give it a bath!!!

A Day of Rest???

Sunday morning.

Wake up.

Eat breakfast, drag kids out of bed, start getting ready for church.

Go to computer to print out talks for Scottlynn, Kennedy, Christian, Gary and myself.

Try other computer since first computer wont print.

Uhhhhh second computer wont print.

Un jam ink cartridge. Try again.

Restart computer. Try again.

Ahhhhh printing! Whoosh.

Finish getting myself and 5 kids ready for church. Dash off to the church in separate cars.

OH NO!!! Kennedy has NO MAKE UP ON!!!

Run back to house for essential mascara.

Open garage door. Watch Kennedy walk half way in the garage and then turn around and come back out because said mascara is ALREADY IN THE CAR!!! GRRRRRR!

Close garage door and speed back to the church hoping not to walk in late to speak in Sacrament Meeting.

Hear Scottlynn say, "Wow, look at that car with all the flashing lights!!!

Hand over license, registration, and proof of insurance. Proof of insurance??? Uhhhhh. Wait for the officer to look up insurance.

Thank the officer for giving me a ticket for only 9 over the speed limit instead of how fast I was going. Ahem.

Drive slowly and casually to the church.

Walk in just as the meeting is starting.

Sustain my hub in his new calling as Young Mens President. :-D

Listen to Boston bear his sweet testimony. He went up all by himself with no help. He was so serious, it was DARLING!

Scottlynn speaks next on everyone's role in the family. Stating how dad may be the main provider but he still has to change diapers. Hee hee

Kenn is very careful to announce in the beginning of her talk how she LOVES to babysit. Might as well pass out business cards at the door. Everyone laughs. She speaks on the good friends that she has had and how we can all be a better friend.

Christian starts by telling everyone that we have three Christmas trees up in our house as well as tiny ones in each bedroom. (I will get slack for this for the remainder of the day.) He speaks on media and entertainment and while trying to find a scripture he says over the pulpit, "DANG! These pages are small!"

I announce to the ward that I got a ticket. They laugh. I speak on Gratitude. It is easy for everyone to see that I have much to be grateful for with the Family I have.

Gary also speaks on Gratitude. He only has to speak about 5 minutes. LUCKY!

End meeting and race off to put Quynn in her first full day of Nursery!!! YAY!!! She loves it!

Run down the hall to sub for Singing Time. Make potions of water, vinnegar, baking soda and a surprise color! Best singing time experiment EVER!!!

Talk to a million people between singing times.

Get Quynn from nursery, run to other side of church to see Gary set apart. Listen to others being set apart until Quynn starts to get restless.

Take Quynn in with me for the last 5 minutes of Choir practice.

Run home and find some sort of leftover to shove in my starving face.

Lay down in my bed because I am FREEZING! Fall asleep.

Wake up just in time to run to get kids (ours plus two others) from Stake Choir practice. (Which Gary had taken them to earlier because I fell asleep.)

Pick up kids. Drop girls off at Young Womens in Excellence. Drop boys off at home. Go back to YWE program. Stay FOREVER LONG talking to the bishop about Gary's new calling.

Come home and shove some other leftover in my face.

Fall asleep on the couch.

Husband drags me to bed.

Halloween

Here is just a quick post to show you what we all went as for Halloween.

Morticia

Pumpkin head and Glinda

Scarecrow

Vending machine

Biker who loves his momma.
Wizard

First time for everything and a last time too.

Today was the first day of school for my kids in a brand new town.

It was Boston's first day of first grade and all day school. It was also the first day he didn't get off the bus and I had to go to the bus yard to find him. :-( He was bullied a bit at school but I encouraged him that he will find the nice kids if he keeps looking. Yesterday was also the first day he completely learned to ride a bike! He can stop and start and as of 5 minutes ago he can even fall off which is why he is inside watching a movie now.

Scottlynn, well, I haven't talked to her yet. She got off the bus and instantly I was off to find Boston. Then by the time I got home I found she had left Quynn home ALONE with the door open ready to topple down the garage steps on her head. So she is in her room at the moment.

Kennedy found that she is THE shortest girl in school. There are some kids in sixth grade her height but no one shorter. And in Seventh she is the shortest. She says all the girls look like they are in High School and she was the ONLY one in the school with her hair up. She also tripped while running up the bleachers in PE and fell completely to her face and slid down. OUCH! Everyone kept making wise cracks about it. Good thing she is a good sport.

Christian was bored to death because they don't have that little side table thing on the desks for your elbow. I'm not sure why this makes school so boring but he insists it does! He is off now to his second football game and hopefully his first win. :-) Today Christian lost his LAST baby tooth. I don't know why this makes me so sad, but it does. He is growing up. They all are.

This move has been hard. It is stretching us all in ways we don't really want to be stretched. One thing I can say is I feel like we are growing closer as a family.

Look how cute they were before school. Christian and Kennedy's bus was 10 minutes early and they missed it. Scottlynn and Boston's bus was 10 minutes late so they waited forever, but better than early and missing it.

Quynn's first birthday pics

Video - Eating of the birthday cake

Okay, I can't get the dang thing to upload so never mind. But trust me it was cute. :-(





Video - Eating of the birthday cake after Christian got her to play Peek-A-boo. Thanks C. :-/





Playing with new toys.


So excited for mom's cake too! With birthdays one day apart, we celebrated together this year.
Then a day of swimming! (Quynn's first time.) No pics in the water because...we were in the water, and well... we have too much fun making memories and still are kind of lame at recording them. :-/

Gotta love licorice!


I can't believe it has been a year. I love this little darling more than you can imagine. She is such a delight to our whole family. She has lived up to her name every minute Quynn Thea meaning Fifth Gift from God. She truly is a gift from God and we are blessed to have her in our home.

Always Rambling

First of all, I just want to blab about how sick I am of being sick. I have been sick FOREVER.

The week of the recital (May 9th-ish) I came down with Croup. Basically it meant I had no voice for the week. (Mind you, this came on the heels of being sick just 2 weeks before.)

By Sunday the 16th the voice was starting to come back but turn into a bad congested cough. I dealt with that for a couple of weeks.

Then I discovered that I had caught another cold on top of my cough which eventually turned into a bad sinus infection. I had a constant headache with ringing in my ears and could feel any movement I made in my TEETH!

I started an antibiotic for that (from my dentist who helped me realize it was a sinus infection) and then I started to notice a pain in my right lung. I thought,'Oh no! I am getting pneumonia!" So I got an appointment with just any looser available doctor, I mean how hard is it to tell if I have pneumonia?

He determined that I in fact had Pleurisy. Cure? Wait. Gee thanks. That's well worth the $40 co-pay.

Well, that got worse FAST so I went to a good Doctor who told me to take BOTH the other prescribed antibiotics, took an x-ray, and said..."Wait." Blah

So I waited.

Until one day, I coughed, painfully as usual, and felt a "POP!". Barely able to breath I returned to the doctor who decided (after 3 more x-rays) that I dislocated a rib. This means when I sneezed the rib pulled away from the cartilage and then popped back in. OUCHIE! It also meant that the pain would take about the time to heal as a broken rib.

Luckily I have people who love me and they stepped up and helped me. I have a good friend who came over and worked her fingers to the bone getting my house ready to show, mainly by packing up all the junk we have collected over the past seven years and either giving it to DI or storing it in her basement. I have an awesome Relief Society President who called me and offered a couple of meals and some great people to help with my busy man Boston.

So the meals were delivered (delicious too!) and the boy was taken. My friend did my work and convinced my older children to work as well (not an easy task), and baby Quynn played like a good baby should.

And now...I am recovering. :-)

And my house...Is on the market. :-/

As the realitor came to take pictures I thought,'This is not right. I'm not just selling my house. He needs to post pictures of my BFF that I am leaving behind just a few blocks over, my primary class and of coarse all my dance kids. There should be a picture of every day of school my kids spent at Spanish Oaks. Where is the picture of the people who brought me dinner this week? And helped with Boston? There should be a picture of Kennedy at Young Women's with all her best friends and one of Christian with the scout leaders who have molded him into the fine young man he is becoming."

I could go on and on.

We are not just selling a home. We are selling a life. A wonderful life. One that is worth way more than just this house. Will anyone find the value we have found here? I sure hope so.

Anyway, today I had the thought of how hard this move seems. And then I remembered during the sacrament what our Savior went through in his life. The Lord is asking me to leave family and friends I have loved for seven years to meet a new family and friends that I will surely love as well. And this seems unbearable?

Well, yes, it is still hard. But I know the Lord has good things in store for our family. This is definitely a challenge we can face. And I have Facebook! And I totally plan on coming back to visit A LOT!!!

Anyway, so in all I have been feeling good about the move. It is a new adventure and I know it is what we are supposed to do and where we are supposed to be.

Gary starts his new job tomorrow. At this point most of my thoughts are directed at selling this house. It is way to far to just commute. We need to sell so we can be together. We have trusted the Lord this far and I just pray he will help us with this last piece of the puzzle.

Okay, enough rambling.

Sad

Today I am sad. I am. I know I have so much to be grateful for, especially now, but today, today I am just sad.

We are moving.

We are leaving our home and friends and moving on. There are so many things we are leaving behind. Things we have worked so hard to build. We built this home. We were the first to live in it and hoped to be the last but now it will be home to some other family.

We leave behind the yard which we put in with our own hands and just this spring put in new beds all around the back and two big beds in the front. We planted two peach trees which I have no doubt will produce delicious fruit. I have planted squash, lettuce, strawberries, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, cantaloupe, peas, cabbage, artichokes, and more which some other family will get to enjoy.

And I will leave behind my dance students. Not just my current students but all the kids I have taught over the years who still call me Miss Amidey every time they see me. I love those kids. I will miss them tremendously.

And I think, the hardest part, I will leave behind so many wonderful friends. Not just my friends but my kid’s friends. The friends I had hoped they would graduate high school with. Friends that have the same goals and standards my kids have. Their best friends and mine.

I also leave behind a big part of civilization. Bye bye shopping mall. Bye bye Target and Sam’s Club. Goodbye Seven Peaks and Lagoon. Goodbye Provo ten minutes away and Salt Lake only an hour away.

Then there is my dear friend who I spend part of almost every day with. We can still talk on the phone and chat on computer. We can visit each other. But we can’t plant our gardens together. We can’t cook dinner together everyday. I guess there is no need to plan our meals the same. L I can’t borrow a pound of hamburger when I am out or a carton of sour cream from her.

This is what I wrote this morning, trying to clear my head.

Fast forward four hours later (after attending Sarah Bradshaw’s lesson on gratitude).

How grateful I am for seven years of living in this beautiful home and neighborhood.

How thrilled I am that over the past two years I have had an amazing friend that has taught me an amazing amount about gardening, to the point that I actually think I might be able to do it again on my own.

How blessed I have been part of the lives of so many little children and be able to share with them the love of dance. These are people I will love forever and hope fate may bump us into each other from time to time.

I am so very very VERY grateful that my kids have had seven years with the best friends a kid could have. They have helped to mold the people that they are and establish some goals for the future. They have taught them it is fun and very cool to do what is right.

I am so blessed for a dear friend who reminds me that this opportunity is a huge blessing for my family and supports us fully in this decision even though I know it will affect her life as well.

The bottom line is, I am grateful. My heart is breaking only because the Lord has blessed me immensely the past seven years and I hate to leave it all behind. I know there are blessings in my future. I am excited for the new adventure. Okay, so there is no mall, but they have the most amazing outdoor activities, something that our family has really gotten into the past year. I can still shop on the internet! Thank goodness for technology! And blogs! And Facebook!!!

Oh, btw, where are we moving you ask?

VERNAL, UTAH!!!

Say anything negative about the place and I will have to come KICK YOUR TRASH!!!

That is all. Oh, and btw, THANKS SARAH! :-)

A Cougar Tale

You would never believe what happened to me! Well you wouldn't have if I didn't have PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE!

Friday, I was standing in Big 5 minding my own business when who should walk up and ask to get his picture taken with ME?! BRONCO MENDENHALL!

Okay, okay. Well he didn't exactly ask me.

Okay, he didn't ask me at all. But still! I got a picture with him.

So Gary was staying in the car with a sleeping Quynn who had been a crying Quynn most of the day. I was talking with him on my cell phone as I shopped for hiking shoes for Christian who conveniently wears the same size as me for the moment.

Gary stops me mid sentence, "BRONCO MENDENHALL IS WALKING IN THE BUILDING!!! HE JUST WALKED PASSED ME! HE IS WALKING IN THE DOORS RIGHT NOW!!! ITS BRONCO! ITS BRONCO! IT'S REALLY HIM!!!"

I turn to look and sure enough, its Bronco. My heart started beating, I mean he is only the head coach for the "Lords" team, the BYU Cougars! I didn't know if I dared ask for his picture. But then I simply asked myself WWPD (What Would Pat Do?) And I knew... a good blog post is worth any amount of embarrassment especially if I can humiliate my husband in the process. :-D

I casually eyed him as he took the stairs up to the upper floor (baseball season). I finished talking to the shoe guy and got up my nerve and carefully began to stalk my prey. I started up the stairs slowly, keeping my eyes peeled, but soon realized I COULDN'T SEE HIM ANYWHERE!

OH NO! I HAVE MISSED MY CHANCE!!!

I looked to my left...NOTHING
Straight ahead...NOTHING
I slowly look to my right just as his head is ducking down behind some racks. So I casually stroll over and he is hunched over. I would tell you what he was looking at but my heart was racing so hard I couldn't tell.

"Hi :-D Are you Bronco?" Ug! What a stupid question! But my mind was all flustered.

Well he gave me a huge smile and said, "Yes I am".

"Well my husband is out in the parking lot having a heart attack that you are in here. Can I get my picture taken with you?"

"Sure!"






Okay, notice his hand on my shoulder and actually TOUCHING my hair! And have you ever seen Bronco smile so big? Have you ever seen Bronco smile at all?

So then I throw out a delighted, "THANKS!" and walk back down to the cash register not daring to look back.

Of coarse on my way I had to quickly send a text to my closest friends, Facebook and most importantly my poor hub sitting in the car.

I had to stand in line for just a minute and who walks up behind me in line? You guessed it! BRONCO AGAIN! I swear he was stalking ME!!!

I got a text back from my boy toy telling me that I am a mess! He was embarrassed. Mission accomplished!

So of coarse I tell Bronco, "My husband is in the car dying of embarrassment because I texted him our picture. He's a season ticket holder". (Dude! Did you hear that? OUR picture? It has a nice ring doesn't it? Ahem)

So then he says, "Well thanks!" and gives me ANOTHER big smile.

In all, I found him to be a very pleasant guy. Cheerful even.

Upon leaving I realized I was about to puke! I had been feeling a bit under the weather the past couple of days and all the excitement made my tummy do somersaults.

In all, I was thrilled meeting him but a little disillusioned. I think I pictured him always walking around with an entourage. You know, a few of the players, maybe a small band playing the BYU fight song, and some old ladies selling popcorn and Cougar tails.

Still it was a great memory and definitely worth a blog entry. I love you Bronco, and I love the BYU Cougars!

Princess Day!!! (2010)

Today may have been the best Princess Day I have had since the original Princess Day exactly 18 years ago.

Eighteen years ago today I was named Madison High School's Junior Miss in Rexburg, Idaho. There were 28 contestants and I had NO intention of winning. It was a wonderful surprise.

For the next few years I didn't celebrate Princess Day. It wasn't until several years later that I decided the day should be appreciated every year. A day to celebrate when I was young and full of talent and beauty. A day when I only answer to "Princess" or "Your Majesty". (Not Queen! Queens are old and fat and mean.) I can be heard saying such things as "Curtsy while your thinking, it saves time" and "Open your mouth a little wider!"

Most years nothing really special happens on Princess Day. Maybe a special date or something. But not this year.

This year started last night with tickets to see the BYU Ballroom Dance Company. It was a WONDERFUL show and I was especially thrilled to see them use some of the songs I have used in previous recitals. I found my prince on the Ballroom Dance Team at BYU Idaho so it seemed fitting.

Today, I didn't really get to sleep in because we have 9am church but I did do my hair curly and wore fancy jewelry and spiky high heels.

During church I told my Relief Society that it was my Princess Day and when I moved seats, THE BISHOPS WIFE, called me "Your Majesty"! It was wonderful!

So after a good drinking up of the spirit I came home where my husband cooked a fabulous lunch. :-D

Then after quickly folding a couple of loads of laundry with him I was ordered to bed by my almost 6 year old, Boston. I had a good book (Princess Academy), which Gary was willing to hold open for me to read but ended up being a bit distracting so I held it myself. He brought me a bowl full of candy to snack on while I read. I didn't even last a page and I was out like a one ton truck.

I slept for TWO AND A HALF HOURS!!! WOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!

When I woke I came out to Scottlynn holding my royal robe (made from an apron one of my little dancers made me) and a scepter she made for me, which sort of resembles an American Idol mic, and said I could beat them with it. Haha.

Then I came along this...It is three spoons of cookie dough for me, which unfortunately after candy earlier I couldn't even eat one. Of coarse I nibbled for the children's sake.

Then I was brought over to my thrown, sat down and was delivered a beautiful, hand made crown.


I was also given some perfect, warm, chocolate chip cookies.And what could be more perfect than the Twelve Dancing Princesses playing on the TV?


I checked my e-mail and had received some Princess Day wishes that I appreciate. I also received a phone call from my mom and the girls at her house wishing me a happy Princess Day.

Later this evening, I went for a walk around the neighborhood and visited with some of the common folk. The littlest duchess (Quynn) was asleep for earlier events but enjoyed the walk with us while wearing a beautiful bow complete with fur trim. (Sorry, no picture)

Now, all of the kiddo's are in bed and here I sit with some time to blog. What can be better than that?

Its weird to think it has actually been 18 years. I sure don't feel that old. I am sure girls that are competing now would look at me like a crazy old lady, and maybe I am. But today I get to celebrate my past accomplishments and I look forward to many more to come. Maybe not so many that will be published in newspapers and such but ones that mean so much in my heart. I wouldn't say Jr. Miss was the greatest accomplishment of my life, but remembering the day makes me feel young.

Happy Princess Day to me!

Random Ramblings

Guess what?! I got a new camera!!! It is amazing! So now I can blog all the time! Oh, actually, no. I mean who are we kidding? My blogging had very little if nothing to do with my camera and I really have no firm plans to blog any better. I mean I want to, but who knows. Maybe this summer. Blah.

I have taken a couple of self portraits and all I can say is that this baby is too good. It is so good that you can see all my old lady wrinkles and possibly even some split ends on my hair. Ug.


But the really really REALLY great news... is that it takes awesome video. My other camera was horrible at that but look at this!

.(Btw, this is my first time posting a video so I hope it even works.)


Okay, I know it's kind of a lame video. I mean nothing real dramatic but oh man, isn't she adorable? I really might have to do a bit more blogging with such an easy way to record video


So Quynn is growing up wayyyy too fast. She turned 9 months and got a tooth! Here is a picture of the first day it came in. I think she was way excited to get a tooth because the whole family had dentist appointments that day and she wanted to show it off.

(This was taken with my phone and she is waaaaaay cheesin it so you can see her new front bottom tooth. I just have to laugh at this picture. Isn't it funny?)

Btw, we got a new dentist and I am in LUV! They have coolio tv's above your head and flouride they paint on your teeth which is actually really irritating but kind of cool.

Anyway, I am out of time already. Gotta go pick Ken up from Softball. She is turning into a real pro athlete!

8 things I am thankful for this Valentines Day.

A weekend you would think I would want to forget but I really don't.

1 - Running water in my house to rinse fun dip out of five year old boy's eye.

2 - Aloe vera and ice packs to soothe a 9 year old girl's burned arm (30 seconds after rinsing fun dip out of brother's eye).

3 - The cool movie Avatar, even if I did fall asleep for the end of it. :-(

4 - My husband's job even if they did call him in Saturday night.

5 - The hotel he could stay in up at work while he threw up every half hour all night long.

6 - IB Profin to take down husbands fever, as well as sprite and chicken noodle soup.

7 - Humidifier for a baby who came down with a nasty cough over the weekend.

8 - Essential oils that make my house reak but hopefully will keep us from all getting the stomach flu and definately helps babies get better from a nasty cough.

You know, this weekend didn't turn out quite like I had picutred, but I really do have so much to be grateful for. Oddly it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I guess I'm just happy to be surrounded with so much love this Valentines day.

Btw, Gary got me the most beautiful flowers, twelve red tulips and twelve blue iris. They are so beautiful. Thanks babe!

Love, hate (scratch that, reverse it)

I have been thinking a lot lately about all the things I hate and trying to turn them around into things that I love. Here are some of the things on my list I came up with.

#1 HATE - I hate the fact that I don't have time to blog anymore. I was looking back at the first few months of my blog. I loved blogging. I love that I recorded those memories. Those posts are priceless to me and yet, why the heck does it seem I can never find the time to blog? I don't even have time to read a blog let alone write one.

#1 LOVE - I love the fact that I have a beautiful little girl who literally sucks the time and energy out of me. I love that I have 4 other kids who run me ragged. They are so amazing! I love that I have a friend who I get to see almost every day and do lots of projects with. If I have to make the choice to live life or blog about it, I choose to live it. Lately, life is so busy and so exciting I just don't have the time to document it.

#2 HATE - I hate teaching dance. It takes me away from my family and blogging and relaxing and doing whatever the heck I please every day. I have to deal with asking people to pay their bill and making up dances whether I feel like it or not. I have to be cheerful even when I don't feel like it. I am TIRED!

#2 LOVE - I have the most amazing job in the world. I spend every day dancing. Even when I am having a rotten day it never fails to cheer me up to spend that time spreading the love of dance to others. I make better money doing dance than I probably could at anything else. I get to work in my home and it keeps me in shape. I am so blessed that Heavenly Father inspires me to create what even I think are amazing dances. I LOVE teaching dance.

#3 HATE - My children drive me crazy! They argue with me and with each other. They want want want everything!!! They don't think things through and they take way too much for granted. They throw tantrums and they complain about EVERYTHING (wonder where they get that from). And yes, I blame myself for every ounce of their weaknesses.

#3 LOVE - I have the most amazing kids in the world. Christian is a 4.0 once again. He is deacon quorum president and scout troop leader (or something like that). He is just an amazing young man. Kennedy is a fire cracker! She is so good at basketball and the best babysitter ever. She loves others immensely and feels things so deeply. Scottlynn is a sweetheart and has such a tender heart. Boston cracks me up!!! That boy is just hilarious. And Quynn, well I don't have any complaints about her anyway. She is simply perfect! I hope I will get some credit in the next life for how amazing my kids are. It may be my only saving grace.

#4 HATE - I hate that my husband works so far away. AN HOUR AND A HALF ONE WAY!!! And he drives it Monday through Thursday. Then when he is home he spends a great deal of time handling work calls and fixing problems there. They keep messing up his bonus for one reason or another and it is just so frustrating and maddening!

#4 LOVE - I love that my husband has a job. Its actually a job he likes if it wasn't so far away. We have had times when he as no job at all, and I know that in this economy, it is a huge blessing that he has this job. He works hard and its honest work. He does an amazing job at providing for our family and rarely complains. I am grateful for all he does for me.

#5 HATE - I hate it that I want so much. I want EVERYTHING! I want cuter clothes. I want to go on a family vacation. I want to go overnight somewhere with my husband. I want to buy my kids cute clothes and I want to make changes to my house. I want to eat out all the time and eat on paper plates! I want to get my hair colored. I want a TV that doesn't have lines in it. I want a VCR that I can play tapes on instead of eating them. I WANT WANT WANT!!!

#5 LOVE - Oh my my! I am so very blessed. I remember when I went to China and saw how they lived. I remember thinking I will never think I don't have enough again. I have a beautiful home, so many clothes, a huge family. And who needs to eat out when you cook as good as I do? I am so grateful for everything I have. The Lord has blessed me beyond measure. And that's not even counting the non-tangible things like a husband who loves me, amazing kids, great friends and of coarse the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

#6 HATE - I hate that I feel so useless, worthless, hopeless compared to everyone else. I look at myself and see so much failure. So very much. I'm not good enough, smart enough, rich enough, righteous enough, refined enough.

#6 LOVE - Still working on this one but I know I bring things into this world that other people don't. I may not be perfect at any of it but I work hard. I do a few things right. My family home evening is still sporadic and usually lame but I do read scriptures with my kids every morning. I know that God loves me because he has given me so much and he must think I am capable because he has placed so much responsibility on me. I am learning to see that though I struggle in some areas, I am amazing in others.

#7 HATE - I hate that Quynn is growing up so fast. All my kids for that matter. It isn't fair that they just slip by so fast. I don't get enough pictures or videos of any of them. I wish I could hang on to them forever.

#7 LOVE - I am excited to see how they all turn out. I see so much potential now, I think it will be amazing to see how it all turns out.

#8 HATE - I hate medical bills!!! Dude, they are killing us!

#8 LOVE - I am so grateful for modern medicine. With out it, our life would be very different. I can tell you for sure, Christian would be dead from a ruptured appendix. Modern medicine is a miracle. Small price for a miracle really.

I cant think of much more I hate at the moment but lots more that i love.

I love modern plumbing even though at times it has been my enemy.
I love internet! And I love FaceBook for keeping me up to date on all my friends and neighbors.
I love food! Yummy!
I love good people. You know? The really good ones. People who make me feel worth something.
I love that my life has turned out better than I could ever imagine.
I love my body pillow! Dude, that thing is WONDERFUL!
I love my neighborhood and community. We are so blessed to life right here.
I love having the gospel in my life. Without it, I think I would loose all hope.

I think this is a good practice for me when I am complaining. I just need to remember my blessings. I am spoiled rotten compared to so many. In so many ways, I have the absolute best there is, and for that and so much more, I am grateful.