Turkey to die for.

Well, that title might be a bit extreme but it is really really good so...whatever.
This is the ONLY way to prepare a turkey if you ask me. In general I have never been a huge fan of turkey but this is like "change your life" good turkey. A little bit of work but so worth it.
First you need to start with a five gallon bucket. Dump all these ingredients in
1 bottle of Cooking Sherry (don't worry, the alcohol will cook out.)
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup Salt (NEVER MORE THAN 1 CUP)
1/4 Cup Vinegar
1/2 cup Tender quick (This is generally by the salt in any supermarket)
Worcestershire (About 14 shakes of the bottle. Don't worry, you won't ruin it.)
Liquid smoke (About 12 shakes of the bottle. Again, just do it. It will be fine)
(Liquid smoke can be found at any supermarket but I'm not sure which isle. Don't let them tell you they don't have it...they do.)

In a small pan combine these ingredients with some water (dude, the amount of water doesn't matter. I don't know, a cup or two?) and boil until herbs are soggy. I like fresh better but dried will work (I have had to do it before). Amounts are not crucial. I'll try to be as close to specific as I can. You have to have the Sage and I recommend the other herbs but for example this year I didn't use Rosemary or Basil (Not sure why). It just doesn't have to be exact.
Sage (1 pkg fresh or a big hand full. MUCH LESS if it is DRIED. Maybe a tablespoon? Not sure)
Bay leaves (4 dried)
Thyme (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Rosemary (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Basil (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Oregano (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Pepper corns (1 tsp) DO NOT USE GROUND PEPPER. IT WILL BE TOO HOT.
( I have even added Marjoram and Savory before. Just add whatever smells good)
Add that soggy mixture to the bucket.
Now here is the really weird part. You need to add the right amount of water to even out the salt content. You don't want it to be too salty. So I add a little water (uh, maybe 8 cups? no idea) and really stir it well starting to dissolve the sugar and salt. Then you put a WHOLE raw egg IN THE SHELL into the bucket. You add water and stir until the egg sinks. You REALLY don't want to break the egg so be careful. Once it sinks you have enough water and it won't be too salty.
REMOVE THE EGG!!!

Now you simply put your THAWED and rinsed bird in the bucket. If the turkey is at all frozen it wont soak up the flavor. You want to make sure the body cavity fills with the mixture and that the bird is covered. If you need to, add more water but be sure to mix it in. And make sure that your bird is not just floating.

Now for the fun part.

Shake, Rattle, and Roll!

Every morning and every night you need to shake that baby up. The salt can settle so really mix it like crazy. For this reason I like the cool screw on lids but another method is to simply bob the turkey up and down and mix it that way. We often flip the turkey after a couple of days.

Oh which brings me to my next point. How long do you do this? This year I started mine soaking on Saturday but I have done it as late as Monday night. Any time would be good but the longer the better. Well, no earlier that Saturday (assuming you are eating this on a Thursday...Turkey day).

KEEP IT COOL!

If you live in a really cold climate you can just keep it in the garage or in a snow drift like we usually do. But if you are having a year like we are there is a little more work involved. It requires putting it in the freezer and pulling it out for hours at a time. You don't want it to freeze solid but it is a 5 gallon bucket so you can leave it overnight in the freezer and it's fine. Or maybe the freezer in the day and the garage or just on the floor (if it is slightly frozen) at night. Whatever works for you. Ya, that is a pain but you really don't want it to go rotten and get food poisoning. I have been doing this for about 9 years and we have never had food poisoning.


This will make the most amazing gravy too of coarse. We always save the bones into two bags to make turkey bone soup...twice. Oh man it is good! Then there is Turkey Cranberry Wreath, and of coarse Turkey sandwiches and that whole bit. Okay so don't be afraid. Just do it. And let me know how it goes. If you can't get it together for the big holiday just make it this winter. Your family will love you for it.

And if they hate it. Keep that comment to yourself!

Okay okay! I give!

Try as I might to get a grip on this silly little thing called life I have decided to give up. Hm, not even sure what that means or how to go about doing that but I am sick to death of bad news. I just found out today that Boston needs to have surgery.

Now, no big worries. It is a fairly common thing and I'm not overly concerned about the surgery (hoping that doesn't somehow mean I'm a crappy mom). I am actually freaking out because we need to do it BEFORE the recital.

Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

This would be the same recital that I am scrambling to pull together because I have NEVER been this unprepared.

It's not just taking the time out for the surgery (which by the way can only be done on a Thursday which is when I teach 3 classes, causing me to re-arrange every one's schedules AGAIN). But he has an ultrasound appointment, a pre-op appointment,and a post-op appointment. Christian has his last follow-up appointment and I have my own Dr. appointment all before this blasted recital.

Oh! What is it for, you say? I hope this is not reflection on yet another one of my great mothering skills. I noticed oh, a couple of YEARS ago that Boston had a funny Adam's Apple. It was really high, like at the very top of his neck under his chin. I KNEW it was his Adam's Apple because it moved down when he swallowed. At other visits I simply kept forgetting to ask the doctor about his silly Adam's Apple.

So this week I took him to the doctor for nose bleeds and at the last minute remembered, "Hey, is there a problem with him having an extremely high Adam's Apple?"

"Uhhhh, well. This down here is his Adam's Apple. That, that you are talking about looks like a cyst. How long has he had it?"

"Ohhhh, only....hm. A couple of ....years?"

Ya, I am an awesome mom. Here I have been feeling every toddlers neck for two years trying to decided if it is normal and never asking the doctor about it. Come to find out, he was born with it. Ya, that means it took me 2 years to even notice it...but in my defense, that is generally the case.

So official diagnosis: It is a Thyroglossal Duct Cyst.

They will use the Sistrunk Procedure to remove the cyst as well as a portion of his Hyoid bone in his neck. For older patients it is a same day surgery but because he is so young they will keep him overnight.

If they don't remove it, this is what can happen. Gross!

So now for the silver lining, Boston is on the same deductible as Christian so we have already met it. And we already know all the nurses so I am hoping it will be a pleasant reunion.

In the mean time I am floundering. It will be a miracle if I can pull this off at all. Of coarse then there is spring. Ya, I need 14 to 16 songs cut, 8 dances at least partially choreographed all by the first week of January. I still haven't set up Christmas (I know what you are all thinking but this is the FIRST year we have not set it up the week after Halloween. Gary is completely depressed over it.) I have Thanksgiving to put on, oh, and Christmas shopping...what a joke. Maybe I'll just steel some hospital gowns and that can be our Christmas pajamas. Ha ha.

Okay, speaking of getting work done I need to go re-do the entire finale so the kids can learn it in one week. Glad I worked so hard on it just to change it all two weeks before.

Okay, ready to tackle life again. Well, not really but what choice do I have. What choice do any of us have? Okay, happy happy happy.

Appendicitis, Grattitude and Things I Could Have Done Without

Where do I begin. Last Thursday....no wait, the week before last Thursday...actually...okay Thursday Oct 23rd my son Christian (12) came down with a low fever. No worries. Kids get bugs.

By the next day he was having a little stomach trouble (aka diarrhea) ( I know he'll love me sharing that information.) Then by Saturday he was throwing up. So we decided he had the stomach flu. Only he was really being lazy. "Mom. Can you reach the remote that is sitting just barely out of my reach?" Of coarse I got it for him like any kind mother would but I'm thinking 'Dude, you are really milking it this time'.

Sunday, more of the same.

Monday - Gary calls from work to ask me how Christians side is feeling. 'Uhhhh what is he talking about? I never received any information on a side hurting'.

Apparently Christians right side had been hurting for 3 days. 3 DAYS!!! Probably should have mentioned that sooner.

So as any great nurse mom knows, to test for appendicitis you push in on the painful spot and then release quickly. The pushing in is not supposed to hurt but the release is supposed to create great pain. After trying this several times it only hurt to push in. Hm?

So I called the nurse. She recommended the same test which I did and got the same results. Only excruciating pain on pushing in. She then had me ask him to jump. This also caused excruciating pain and she recommended we see the doctor just to rule out appendicitis.

While at the doctor he did the same push test with the same results as well as having him jump down off the table which again....PAIN. It didn't quite seem like appendicitis but he scheduled a blood test at the hospital just to be safe.Two hours later the results were borderline. Hm. So we thought, 'Oh, what the heck. Lets do a CT scan just to be on the safe side. After all it's only money and a month before Christmas. At least Murphy's Law will make it so nothing is wrong and we can go home".After a painful insertion of an IV (that refused to go in the left arm and had to be put in the right) and some pumping in of some stuff that makes his organs light up they took the scan.

Sure enough, appendicitis. (I guess that would mean all the times we kept pushing on his side and making him jump up and down really were causing pain. Sorry Christian.)

After speaking with the doctor we found out he would only be in the hospital that night and would be back to normal life in no time.

How grateful I am to live where we do. We asked the nurse if she knew if there was a priesthood holder who could assist in a blessing. Of coarse the male nurse standing right in the room was worthy and happy to assist.

When the surgery was finished however we learned that the appendix had ruptured. He would have a drain coming out of his abdomen to release all the infection (Sorry no picture. It's about an inch above an area that a 12 year old by is not about to let his mother post on the internet) and his hospital stay would be extended to 5 days. 5 DAYS! ARE YOU KIDDING? Okay so the panic button went off a little.

The doc also gave us some awesome pictures. They are a little graphic so skip ahead if you are like Susan and they make you light headed.

The top left is his appendix and the puss and infection. Top right is the doctor snipping the appendix.
The bottom left is when they dissect the appendix. And the bottom right is where they put it in a little sac to suck out the tiny hole.

Here is a picture of Christian after surgery. He looks so small doesn't he. It's weird how I thought he looked huge in his football uniform and now he looked like some scruffy little kid. He was so pleasant the entire time. Really, through all the needle pokes, side pokes, jumping up and down he just kept a smile on his face and did what he was asked.
When he was first waking up we had to break his heart every five minutes because he kept asking the same question.

When can I go home?

I'm sorry honey, not for about 5 days.
5 DAYS! WHAT? WHY?

Well, your appendix was squirting infection into your body and they need to keep you here longer than they first thought.

Oh.

(3 minutes later)

When can I go home?

And his heart was shattered again.

Tuesday - No food or drink. Not the best day. He had a nurse who looked about 95 years old. She had no idea how to run the new IV machines. She would say things like, "Lets try this... beep beep beep beeeeeeeeep! Hm....nope. Well, maybe this...beep beep beep. Ah, that seemed to work". I'm thinking, 'Are you kidding me? You are guessing? Sheesh! How many years since you even went to nursing school anyway?' Still, nothing went to disastrously wrong so I guess she did okay.

Wednesday - Clear fluids only. Broth, herbal tea, jello. But a very good day and pretty good night too. Plus we had the best nurse. Her name was Sunshine. What a perfect name for her profession. Why do I keep running in to people with such perfect names? (Remember Officer Slaymaker?) Anyway, She was so kind and truly just a ray of sunshine in the middle of the night.
Thursday (Dooms day) - This was the day they changed his pain meds and he was allergic to them and broke out in hives. Then they also decided to switch to oral antibiotics which made him throw up all his food and have awful diarrhea. It also caused his drain to go bizerk, needing emptied about every two hours. His fever spiked again and his pain (which was down to a 3) was now at a 9!

We had a good home teacher come and give Christian another priesthood blessing that eased many of our concerns. They switched his pain killer and his antibiotics and he improved rapidly after that. But with such a bad night and his drain going so crazy the doctor ordered that Christian stay one more day. Blast! That means he had to stay in the hospital for Halloween.

Throughout the week there were many friends and family that came to visit Christian. We were both very grateful for the visitors. His teacher even came and brought a huge gift box that the kids pulled together.

Here is a picture of him on Halloween. He was feeling much better. We stayed up late watching scary movies and eating yogurt. Yum yum. Oh and he did eat one Reece's Pieces and three whole Skittles.Unfortunately his dad didn't have such a good Halloween. Thursday he came down with a horrible case of Strep Throat. This is after the 103 fever hit but before his throat swelled up to look like a bullfrog.
The next morning Christian was able to go home and has been doing well ever since. This is him with another one of our favorite nurses, Holli.

Through this entire experience I just kept thinking how grateful I am for such qualified doctors, surgeons and nurses who could care for Christian. Also gratitude for wonderful antibiotics, painkillers and anti-nausea medications that have been discovered. Even gratitude for that awesome nightlight built in at the hospital and the hospital bed that raised and lowered and let him sleep in a curved and comfortable position. Technology is a miracle! Now hospital food on the other hand made me grateful that I can go home and cook a nice hot meal.