Wonder Woman is laid to rest.

Okay, I've had a couple of friends express concern that I have not posted in a while. I used to post several times a week and now....not so much.

Well here is the reason.

I am a person that runs off anxiety. I can't sleep, I can't sit still, my mind and body race both day and night. This is a very productive way to live, because I get by on as little as 3 hours of sleep and still feel great the next day. During the time that most people waste on sleep, I am cleaning, blogging, reading, paying bills, working on dances, and doing anything else that needs doing. (And no. I am not one of those MethMoms. !)


The down side to all this anxiety and useful productivity is that I tend be overly emotional and highly irritable. I become more demanding and want to bite everyone's head off. Hm. Imagine that.


This summer my anxiety seemed to be at its worst. I was very productive, but I was also very stressed out. I know this isn't a healthy way to live, and it's not something I chose, my body just chose it for me. So, during the summer I started working on my thought distortions. I realized I even had thought distortions. I took the Burns Depression Test and was shocked to learn that I was apparently extremely depressed. I also took the Burns Anxiety Test and found my anxiety level to be through the roof. That one was not as big a shocker, but I was somewhat alarmed at how very high I scored. Anyway, so I have been working on my thought distortions since then. This has been helping me sleep a little better at night and my anxiety started improving too.

Then recently, a favorite neighbor recommended that I take Melatonin to help with sleep. This idea of a natural remedy was enticing, because I don't like the way sleeping pills make me feel. I asked my doctor and he thought the Melatonin might actually help with the anxiety too. It seems to be working okay other than, now I am like normal people.


Agh!


So I am not racing a million miles an hour all day. I no longer have an extra 4 or 5 hours a night to be super productive and efficient. If I have a night where I don't sleep good, I pay for it the next day.


I am struggling to keep up with the cleaning, cooking, and laundry. Then of coarse there is the 8 dance classes I teach each week, the costumes I have to plan, the dances I have to choreograph, the recital I have to pull off. Don't forget the children one on one time, hubby time, and what ever happened to personal time? Oh! And I started a garden this year for the first time...although it really isn't too much work. Still, I am just having a hard time keeping up suddenly. I have to live like normal people and I am used to living like Wonder Woman.


So in the adjustment, a few things had to take a back seat. My kids still want dinner (imagine that) , people keep wearing clothes that need washing and my dance students keep showing up at my house so blogging got the boot.

I really love blogging. I want to blog. I think of blog posts often, but I just don't have the time to pull it all together and get it done. Dance sort of runs me over this time of year. This is when I have to get all the costumes done for the whole year. I have to finish up the dances I haven't finished choreographing yet. I already need to start cutting music for spring and choreographing those dances. Teaching dance is something I love but admittedly, it is extremely stressful.

Okay, so in all, my message is this. I am good! I am fine! I am adjusting to just feeling like everyone else and still wondering if this is how everyone else feels. Maybe the Melatonin is not quite right. I don't know. I'm still figuring it all out. Don't show up to help clean my house or make me dinner. I have it under control, I just don't have time for blogging. In fact I am working on a really funny post that will be out as soon as I have a second to make it really great.

Okay so my kids are having a nervous break down that I am on the computer. Blog away. I still check in to read your blogs now and again. I love your blogs. Keep posting...for me.