Turkey to die for.

Well, that title might be a bit extreme but it is really really good so...whatever.
This is the ONLY way to prepare a turkey if you ask me. In general I have never been a huge fan of turkey but this is like "change your life" good turkey. A little bit of work but so worth it.
First you need to start with a five gallon bucket. Dump all these ingredients in
1 bottle of Cooking Sherry (don't worry, the alcohol will cook out.)
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup Salt (NEVER MORE THAN 1 CUP)
1/4 Cup Vinegar
1/2 cup Tender quick (This is generally by the salt in any supermarket)
Worcestershire (About 14 shakes of the bottle. Don't worry, you won't ruin it.)
Liquid smoke (About 12 shakes of the bottle. Again, just do it. It will be fine)
(Liquid smoke can be found at any supermarket but I'm not sure which isle. Don't let them tell you they don't have it...they do.)

In a small pan combine these ingredients with some water (dude, the amount of water doesn't matter. I don't know, a cup or two?) and boil until herbs are soggy. I like fresh better but dried will work (I have had to do it before). Amounts are not crucial. I'll try to be as close to specific as I can. You have to have the Sage and I recommend the other herbs but for example this year I didn't use Rosemary or Basil (Not sure why). It just doesn't have to be exact.
Sage (1 pkg fresh or a big hand full. MUCH LESS if it is DRIED. Maybe a tablespoon? Not sure)
Bay leaves (4 dried)
Thyme (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Rosemary (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Basil (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Oregano (a couple twigs worth fresh or 1 tsp dried?)
Pepper corns (1 tsp) DO NOT USE GROUND PEPPER. IT WILL BE TOO HOT.
( I have even added Marjoram and Savory before. Just add whatever smells good)
Add that soggy mixture to the bucket.
Now here is the really weird part. You need to add the right amount of water to even out the salt content. You don't want it to be too salty. So I add a little water (uh, maybe 8 cups? no idea) and really stir it well starting to dissolve the sugar and salt. Then you put a WHOLE raw egg IN THE SHELL into the bucket. You add water and stir until the egg sinks. You REALLY don't want to break the egg so be careful. Once it sinks you have enough water and it won't be too salty.
REMOVE THE EGG!!!

Now you simply put your THAWED and rinsed bird in the bucket. If the turkey is at all frozen it wont soak up the flavor. You want to make sure the body cavity fills with the mixture and that the bird is covered. If you need to, add more water but be sure to mix it in. And make sure that your bird is not just floating.

Now for the fun part.

Shake, Rattle, and Roll!

Every morning and every night you need to shake that baby up. The salt can settle so really mix it like crazy. For this reason I like the cool screw on lids but another method is to simply bob the turkey up and down and mix it that way. We often flip the turkey after a couple of days.

Oh which brings me to my next point. How long do you do this? This year I started mine soaking on Saturday but I have done it as late as Monday night. Any time would be good but the longer the better. Well, no earlier that Saturday (assuming you are eating this on a Thursday...Turkey day).

KEEP IT COOL!

If you live in a really cold climate you can just keep it in the garage or in a snow drift like we usually do. But if you are having a year like we are there is a little more work involved. It requires putting it in the freezer and pulling it out for hours at a time. You don't want it to freeze solid but it is a 5 gallon bucket so you can leave it overnight in the freezer and it's fine. Or maybe the freezer in the day and the garage or just on the floor (if it is slightly frozen) at night. Whatever works for you. Ya, that is a pain but you really don't want it to go rotten and get food poisoning. I have been doing this for about 9 years and we have never had food poisoning.


This will make the most amazing gravy too of coarse. We always save the bones into two bags to make turkey bone soup...twice. Oh man it is good! Then there is Turkey Cranberry Wreath, and of coarse Turkey sandwiches and that whole bit. Okay so don't be afraid. Just do it. And let me know how it goes. If you can't get it together for the big holiday just make it this winter. Your family will love you for it.

And if they hate it. Keep that comment to yourself!